The Saturday Preview

It’s hard to believe that with the end of season play-offs still raging in England, the Uefa Cup final (and subsequent steamie where the Rangers fans did themselves no favours) just gone in Manchester, the Champions League Final and FA Cup finals still to come, the Scottish season is still in full swing. Well, in the SPL at any rate.

Normally at this stage of the season things are done and dusted and we’d all stand around in the pubs and clubs of Alba sipping our warm pint of Bellhaven discussing the season’s highlights and lowlights. But there is still a lot of unfinished business to tidy up, not least Rangers‘ backlog of games which has them playing three games as well the Scottish Cup Final in two weeks, and of course whether or not Strachan will get the heave-ho at Celtic.

In fairness, there are only two games on this week that are in any way meaningful. The rest are just there because Setanta already had the outside catering (i.e. “Big Morag’s Burger Van”) booked up in Inverness and cancelling would have set them back literally hundreds of pennies.

Rangers go into the first of a series of away games that they must win (and hope Celtic slip up). And with the mighty Aberdeen not playing till the 22nd (against none other than Rangers), the only game worthy of note north of the Clyde is between my other Scottish team  Deveronvale and Scotlands worst team this season (and possibly ever) Fort William FC. We look ahead to this one and try and guess how many goals Fort William will concede in this, their last game for the season. So, lets get started.

Motherwell vs. Rangers

I said in an earlier article that this is the crunch game for Rangers, the one that I think determines whether they’ll win the league or not. I’ve changed my mind on that, because I think they’ll beat Motherwell tomorrow, and though Rangers still have to travel north to face Aberdeen in a game that’s traditionally very fiery (to put it mildly) and which I also think they’ll win, the banana skin game for them is going to be the St Mirren game on Monday night. A typical top vs bottom game, this is the one where, should Rangers lose the league, then its on the green, green fields of Paisley where it’ll happen.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So far this season it’s been Rangers all the way, with three wins and a draw to show for their efforts. With the exception of a 3-1 drubbing in the Boxing Day game, these two generally don’t go in for massive score lines. Only six goals in three outings (leaving aside again the Boxing Day game) is not much so I’m expecting much of the same. It was Rangers that knocked Motherwell out of the League Cup last October so it’s a bit late for Motherwell to get revenge for that particular defeat. And anyway, in every subsequent chance they had to extract revenge they lost on both occasions.

With Rangers not reporting any serious injuries from the game in Manchester they’ll be out to put behind them the disappointment of that Uefa Cup defeat. And what better way to do that than a solid thrashing of some SPL cannon fodder, right? But Motherwell have proven they’re no push-overs this season, and even though they have nothing to play for (having secured 3rd spot when Hibernian lost to Celtic last week), I can’t imagine Mark McGhee allowing his side to put in a sub-standard performance against their rivals from up the M74.

I cant see anything other than a Rangers win, simply because they have to win. Tomorrows game will be a typical Scottish affair (i.e. scrappy and lots of cards). Rangers to win 0-1.

Inverness CT vs St Mirren

St Mirren managed to draw 0-0 with basement boys (but not in an Austrian sense) Gretna last week in a game so devoid of anything of interest to note that I’m not even going to bother. St Mirren are third bottom, Caley just above them. The only thing at stake is a possible 9th place but with only 6 goals scored in 3 meetings (a win, a loss and a draw) between these two sides this season, dont expect either of these teams to surprise us with a goal avalanche. Hard to call really. 1-0 to Caley.

Kilmarnock vs Falkirk

Much to everyone’s surprise, Kilmarnock managed to beat a very poor Hearts side last week giving them the possibility of not finishing bottom (forgetting Gretna for a minute) if St Mirren lose to Caley and Rangers in the upcoming games. It’s worth fighting for right? Falkirk have had a good season by their standards and they’ll be looking to continue that going into this game. The rebuilding has already started for next season with Jackie McNamara joining the Buddies from Aberdeen, and Dermott McCaffrey, Lee Bullen and Neill McCann joining from Hibernian, Dunfermline and Hearts respectively.

In terms of past results, rearrange the following to make a well-known phrase or sentence: “arse, duck, tighter, a, than“. A massive three goals all season between these two gives you an idea of the sort of game we’re facing here. A 1-0 win for Falkirk.

Fort William FC v Deveronvale FC

Meanwhile, up in the Highland League, Fort William conceded 39 goals in a run of 4 games - that’s one more than Gretna conceded all season!  The last time these two played, Banff based Deveronvale put 11 past ‘The Fort’, so expect more of the same. Deveronvale are currently lying fourth in the table, just outside the European places (only joking) and a win would have them leapfrog over Buckie and into third spot.

It’s hard to predict anything other than another massive drubbing. For Fort William, the 11th season spent looking up the skirts of the teams above them on the league ladder beckons. Which is nice. A thumping 8-0 win for Deveronvale.

But sure, what do I know about football. My predictions this season have been pure gash, so don’t go bet the farm on the basis of what I say, awright? If you think you can do better than me, then leave a comment and show us your mettle! A massive prize is at stake(*)

(*) not actually true.